Stop. Take a Moment. Just Breathe.

As the season begins to change, I am reminded that the year is soon coming to a close and that Christmas is just around the corner. This year has been some kind of wonderful to me and the best part however, is that this adventure is not even close to being over, in fact, it has only just begun.

I look back and the one distinctive characteristic that sets this year apart from any other year is that I had finally found the courage within myself to make the decision to stop.

My life was getting way too busy back in Waterloo given my full-time day job at SiG, as well as my community involvement with TEDxWaterloo, Ignite Waterloo, We Move Media, Families & School Together, etc. The decision certainly wasn’t easy. In fact, it actually took a couple of months to sort it all out in my head, as well as through numerous discussions with close friends and trusted colleagues, before it became crystal clear that what I really needed to do was take the time to concentrate on myself.

And so I did.

When I actually sat down and thought about it, I realized that I actually hadn’t ever given myself any breathing space since graduating from high school back in 2002. That’s eight long years of being on the go, go, go. That period of my life (2002) was trying enough, with the passing away of my beautiful younger sister Loren due to a car accident; where she was announced brain dead upon arrival at the hospital, spent two weeks in a coma before passing away on January 21, 2002. To this day, I still remember everything that happened very clearly, and yet, a big part of me wants to forget.

Looking back, it seems I was always afraid to confront the reality of it all. Hence, the reason I immersed myself in extracurricular activities and academics at UW. Ok, who am I kidding… the math program at UW was not for me and was never for me right from the start. Two years later, I made the switch to the faculty of arts and into the economics/political science program. This was probably one of the best (academic) decisions I’ve ever made, aside from deciding to come to Kőszeg for the MA program in international economic relations. However, that particular decision only came after two years or being on my own in Canada having barely turned 19 (I had just turned 17 when I first arrived in Canada in 2002), living halfway around the world from my family, not to mention the countless therapy and academic counselling sessions that I went through.

The road to the present day certainly wasn’t easy. And yet back then, I kept on pushing myself to keep on going because I figured that if I ever stopped, the pain and numbness of the reality I once knew would come flooding back. I was very happy, content even, living in my own little university bubble before moving onto my Kitchener-Waterloo-Toronto bubble, thank you very much. It seems that I was afraid of what the rest of the world had to offer.

At the end of the day however, the long list of organizations and activities on my CV really doesn’t matter, nor should it really for yours. The number of Facebook friends or Twitter followers, or the number of RT’s or comments on your blog don’t even matter. What really matters the most are the relationships that you’ve built with people as a result of shared experiences in your life, perhaps as a result of being involved with these organizations and activities. What really matters the most in life are your family, close friends and your loved ones (as well as those acquaintances who eventually go on to become your close friends).

It really doesn’t matter if you are a “big deal” to the rest of the world, if you’re not a big deal to those that matter the most in life.

Keep Going Until We Stop

With all of this in mind, this is probably why when I watched Scott Stratten‘s talk from the recent TEDxOakville, I had tears in my eyes. I’m not afraid to admit it.

If you have 15 minutes to spare today, I would highly encourage you to sit down, and take the time to watch it. Given how busy we are in life, we sometimes miss out on some of the most important things because we are too busy chasing the trivial and the mundane.

Sometimes, you just need to stop, take a moment, and just breathe. Thanks so much for sharing your story Scott, you’ve inspired me to share mine.